83.5 miles Avg 12.8 MPH. Fastest 39.6MPH
Total: 428.2
I feel it to be my duty to inform you of the good times and the bad with equal honesty. I would just like to caveat that whatever I write over the next few minutes doesn’t mean that all hope is lost as I can’t wait to see the rest of this beautiful country, but today has truly been the most miserable of my life. I think I may even have cried at one point. What a bell-end.
I was up at 8:30 this morning and ready to get going. Yesterday was so good I felt ready to go all guns blazing. There was one major problem though, and that was the conditions. There was rain all day, but the first major deluge happened at around 11:30am as I was on my way to North Haverhill to pick up my washbag that was so graciously despatched by Miss Penner. You’d think the downhills may give some respite on a gruelling day, but all it did was serve to intensify the cold and by the time I arrived at the General Store I felt physically sick. But I took a couple of hours out with, you guessed it, the kind manager of the store who invited me in to his warm office for coffee and a chat whilst we waited for UPS to get their collective thumbs out of their enormously tardy arsehole. Two hours I sat in that office trying to squeeze the juice out of every last fruit of conversation in order to avoid the inevitable conclusion of the days ride. Two hours. The problem was that the conclusion of the days ride took another 5 hours. When I looked at my map I realised that there was no sheltered accommodation until Bethel, Vermont, which was approximately 65 miles away. Screw it, I thought, I have no choice, there’s no way I’m pitching a tent in this weather, not to mention the stench exuding from me. I hadn’t showered since Saturday night.
Don’t ask me what New Hampshire looks like, I really can’t tell you based on today as it was covered in a thick mist and that saddens me, although, I will concede the White mountains did look stunningly atmospheric early on this morning, (see last pic), but I had to pedal hard to get through. I must confess I did travel by means other than riding at one point, and that was to push my bike - which did a wonderfully convincing job of impersonating a member of Eddie Stobart's fleet - up a hill for one mile whilst the sky puked liquid all over the north-eastern United States. I even had to bypass viewing what I was led to believe was a 35 foot statue of that prophet/con-man Joseph Smith as I didn’t have the energy to see it, and I’ve seen Book of Mormon! Turns out it's just a massive granite obelisk though, so I'm not that fussed.
Eventually, I got to Bethel at 7:30pm soaked to the bone and freezing cold to find the Nestled-Inn (see what they did there) B&B run by Sue and Rick. I was so deliriously happy and relieved that I wanted to kiss them both. I didn't though, that would have been weird and they're not my type.
Oh, I also had a shower where I discovered two large red paintball like injuries on my rear-end which I believe to be saddle-sores.
So, that's how shit today was.
Now, I’ve just stuffed my face with a dirty pizza and a questionable chicken by-product coated in some hot sauce and am currently in the process of watching some basketball players being cheered on by boisterous whooping twats whilst I lay on someone else’s bed butt-naked, scratching myself and drinking a beer.
Tomorrow is already looking up, though. You know why? Because I’m taking it off.
Total: 428.2
I feel it to be my duty to inform you of the good times and the bad with equal honesty. I would just like to caveat that whatever I write over the next few minutes doesn’t mean that all hope is lost as I can’t wait to see the rest of this beautiful country, but today has truly been the most miserable of my life. I think I may even have cried at one point. What a bell-end.
I was up at 8:30 this morning and ready to get going. Yesterday was so good I felt ready to go all guns blazing. There was one major problem though, and that was the conditions. There was rain all day, but the first major deluge happened at around 11:30am as I was on my way to North Haverhill to pick up my washbag that was so graciously despatched by Miss Penner. You’d think the downhills may give some respite on a gruelling day, but all it did was serve to intensify the cold and by the time I arrived at the General Store I felt physically sick. But I took a couple of hours out with, you guessed it, the kind manager of the store who invited me in to his warm office for coffee and a chat whilst we waited for UPS to get their collective thumbs out of their enormously tardy arsehole. Two hours I sat in that office trying to squeeze the juice out of every last fruit of conversation in order to avoid the inevitable conclusion of the days ride. Two hours. The problem was that the conclusion of the days ride took another 5 hours. When I looked at my map I realised that there was no sheltered accommodation until Bethel, Vermont, which was approximately 65 miles away. Screw it, I thought, I have no choice, there’s no way I’m pitching a tent in this weather, not to mention the stench exuding from me. I hadn’t showered since Saturday night.
Don’t ask me what New Hampshire looks like, I really can’t tell you based on today as it was covered in a thick mist and that saddens me, although, I will concede the White mountains did look stunningly atmospheric early on this morning, (see last pic), but I had to pedal hard to get through. I must confess I did travel by means other than riding at one point, and that was to push my bike - which did a wonderfully convincing job of impersonating a member of Eddie Stobart's fleet - up a hill for one mile whilst the sky puked liquid all over the north-eastern United States. I even had to bypass viewing what I was led to believe was a 35 foot statue of that prophet/con-man Joseph Smith as I didn’t have the energy to see it, and I’ve seen Book of Mormon! Turns out it's just a massive granite obelisk though, so I'm not that fussed.
Eventually, I got to Bethel at 7:30pm soaked to the bone and freezing cold to find the Nestled-Inn (see what they did there) B&B run by Sue and Rick. I was so deliriously happy and relieved that I wanted to kiss them both. I didn't though, that would have been weird and they're not my type.
Oh, I also had a shower where I discovered two large red paintball like injuries on my rear-end which I believe to be saddle-sores.
So, that's how shit today was.
Now, I’ve just stuffed my face with a dirty pizza and a questionable chicken by-product coated in some hot sauce and am currently in the process of watching some basketball players being cheered on by boisterous whooping twats whilst I lay on someone else’s bed butt-naked, scratching myself and drinking a beer.
Tomorrow is already looking up, though. You know why? Because I’m taking it off.
Apparently, Vermont is a corruption of the french Verde Mont (Green Mountain). Who really gives a shit, though.
Hasa Diga Eebowei
I smell a conflict of interest
New Hampshire, you really are stunning. Sorry for being such a twat, but I'm tired. It's not your fault.
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